Every child learns to eat at different rates. Some are happy to dive straight in to eating whereas others need to be more comfortable with foods first and take lots of time to go through the steps to eating.

It is normal for toddlers to go through a fussy eating stage, refuse foods or even taste new foods (1). As parents we worry that they are not eating enough or getting the right nutrition. 

If it’s taking many tries to eat new foods then it helps to understand the 6 steps to eating (2). This will help you to understand how children learn to eat and the steps needed first. It is often overlooked and taken for granted that kids will just put food in their mouths. 

What are the steps to eating?

Below is the 6 steps to eating chart that is used to desensitise kids to new foods by working through the steps in order of 1 – 6. This SOS feeding approach includes the steps; tolerating food, interacting with food, smelling, touching, tasting and then eating. This can even be broken down further to 32 steps to eating.

Every child is different and they may not neccessarily need to start at step 1. Or there may be just one type of food or food group they particularly struggle with and it can be used to help them get closer to eating it.

1. Tolerate – this means for example, being in the same room as the food or having the food in front of you at the table or near to you. 

2. Interact – you can interact with a food by using a utensil to move it around on a plate or try picking it up. Food preparation methods like chopping, with a knife or scooping up food with a spoon are great ways to interact with the food without touching it.

 If your child is not ready to commit to touching a food then they could start off with interacting from a distance and build it up to moving closer. 

3. Smell – can take place in the same room, close to the food or further away. 

4. Touch – this doesn’t have to be just with the mouth but could be a finger, hand, part of hand, lips, nose, teeth or tip of tongue, cheek. 

5. Taste – can be just a tiny amount and your child doesn’t have to swallow it unless they want to. They could just lick it, or put it in their mouth and spit it out. Sometimes even partly swallow it. 

6. Eat – this step needs to actually put the food into the mouth and chew.

Adapted from Steps to Eating by Kay Toomey, PhD

Examples of each of the steps to eating

• Tolerate – they can be in the same room as the food and watch you prepare a meal or snack. Simply describe the food to them. You could move the food from a long distance and make it closer until they are happy and can tolerate it. Also make it fun for them by cutting food into fun shapes and showing them. 

• Interact  – they could interact by serving themselves at meal times. This is also great for only taking as much as they need. 

Helping in the kitchen with exciting utensils like whisking, scooping, scraping bowls, measuring or pouring liquids are great examples.

• Smell – You could invent a smelling game with different solid and liquid foods. Trying to guess the food or simply describing the smell whilst blindfolded makes this a fun activity to introduce new foods. 

Also having them in the kitchen while you are preparing so they can smell the food. Or get them to help with preparation like stirring food whilst cooking and smelling it. You can exaggerate smelling the food by saying “umm delicious”. 

• Touch – touching with hands or fingers (whichever they are comfortable with),  such as squeezing, massaging, rolling dough and kneading. Making bread dough or biscuits whereby they can be involved in forming a dough and rolling it out. 

Other ways could be building with food, painting with food, kissing foods, making vehicles with foods (3). 

• Taste – touching with tongue, taking a lick are great ways to build up to putting the food in the mouth. You could introduce this in messy play with foods like yoghurt and doing some yoghurt painting with fingers. Get them to try licking it off their fingers. Also soft fruits like raspberries and other berries whereby the juice easily get on their hands may encourage them to try licking a little off. 

Other ways could be kissing foods, listening to the sounds of chewing or biting a piece off. 

• Eat – putting the food, even a tiny amount in the mouth. It could be spat out but its a start to get them used to the mouthfeel, texture and taste. You never know they may like it and swallow it. 

Top tips for working through the steps to eating

• Start at which step you child is ready at for that particular food. So you dont have to start at step 1.
• Don’t force them onto the next step unless they are ready. They may need to go over this step many times before being ready to go to the next.
• If your child has a very limited diet and you want to introduce lots more foods. I suggest introducing only a few at a time until they are eating them or close to eating them and keeping them in their diet once they are eating them.

• Using play for younger kids and making food fun can help to naturally include the steps to eating.

• Keep track of which foods you are introducing using a worksheet.

If you would like to work through the 6 steps to eating I have created a worksheet which you may find helpful. Find it here

How do I make food fun and encourage them to eat?

• Make the environment as relaxed as possible to ease any stress.
• Try making food fun away from mealtimes, so they are more relaxed and gaining some steps to eating.
• Let them serve themselves and take the lead at mealtimes.
• Involve them in the kitchen, garden etc
• Have regular messy play times. 
• Use novelty cups, plates and bowls for eating.
• Use colourful plates, bowls and utensils
• Ensure foods are colourful and attractive to eat
• Try using additional sauces and dips to make it fun for them to dip into.

Examples of how to make food fun

• Edible stamp art using ice cream cones onto coloured yoghurt. 
• Treasure map pancakes – either making your own pancakes or you could buy some and decorate using edible pens and fruit.
• Edible rainbows with fruit pieces or cereals to make bracelets
• Breading painting
• Flower sandwiches
• Crackers or bread with cheese and veggies for faces

If you like these ideas then I have these recipes above and more in my 10 food exploration recipe cards, which are perfect for toddlers to make with supervision. If you have a fussy eater then these will help to explore food with their senses and build curiosty to try them.

What do you do when your child refuses to eat?

What else can I do?

You could use the Division of responsibility model (4). This is where the responsibility of feeding is divided into two roles; the parents and the child’s roles.

The parents’ role is to decide what to feed the child, where and when. 

The child’s role is to decide if they want to eat the food and how much. This gives responsibility to both parties and puts trust in your child to decide how hungry they are, how much they want to eat, if at all. 

They are given no alternatives to eat but you could offer choice between types of fruit for example. You don’t want to be offering foods you know they will eat all the time but it is a good idea to have at least one food per meal time you know they are likely to eat. 

Also if you don’t have one already you could think about a mealtime routine. This will help children to establish an eating pattern so they are building up an appetite for mealtimes and tapping into when they are hungry so it makes it easier for them to want to eat.

Eating together around a table where possible is also helpful for role modelling. If your child sees you or siblings eating too they are more likely to try foods. 

Let them serve themselves at mealtimes so they are having some control over what they want to eat, as long as you are providing the balance of healthy foods. 

References can be given on request

Now that you have learnt about the steps to eating and making some great progress or you are finding it more difficult because it feels like one step forward and two back. If you feel like you need more support and guidance with getting them to eat more foods, then I would be happy to support you and your child eating more foods. I offer a free clarity call to see how we can work together. Click on the button below to get started.